Monday, January 14, 2008

Same Shit, Different Day*

I was trying not to write anything about recently concluded second test match between India and Australia. Apart from being just a cricket test match, the end result of the controversy was all too obvious to me right from the beginning. To begin with, bad umpiring is nothing new in Australian tours. About Aussie players sledging, well, they learn how to sledge before they even say Ma. Moreover, lack of sportsman spirit, especially when they are looking at the defeat, is quite common of them anyways. Add shrill and jingoistic media glare of Australian press and it’s doesn’t require a rocket scientist to understand why visiting teams surrender meekly to Aussie. Regarding the opposition party this time the saga is re-telecasting of old failures. We are bad travelers. All though, the reason is same years after years, I have no clue why on earth Indian cricketing authority can’t make one lousy pitch that bounces like WACA? It also doesn’t help us that we surrender in tight situations. And, our board that controls the India cricket is more concerned about money than prestige of the country or welfare of the players. Granted that now-a-days Indian cricketers are paid handsomely (perhaps, too generously) but for India cricket board, players are simply race horses. If any of the race horse broke then they have one billion people to choose from. So we were in the familiar situation where aggressive opponents were pouncing on us and we, the Gandhian nation, keep talking sportsman spirit and “let’s forget the past” bullshit.

But then something strange happened and my hopes were rekindled. For itsy-bitsy, tiny-winy period of the time I thought Cricket board of India will stand by Indian players. For fraction of fraction of a millisecond I thought they will go head to head with Australians. For Nth part of the second I thought they will call off the tour to teach Australians a lesson about humility, about humane behavior and about showing respect to the opponents. It has nothing to do with nationalism or cowing to useless Indian media but just a practical way cure Australian cricketers of their stupid arrogance. We are biggest cricketing nation both in terms of viewership and money. If we don't use our might for this purposes then I am not sure what is all the money for?

But it wasn’t meant to be that way. Board cricket control of India – a grandiosely named and yet an ‘out-of-control’ cricketing body of India, which under the pretext of being a non-profit and non-governmental organization doesn’t pay taxes to the government (hell, my household is non-governmental and non-profit. Why do I pay taxes?) - initially made all the possible threats to every possible creature in this universe. (That includes giant Panda) And at the end like a good dog they backed down with their tail in between two legs.

We expect umpires to be non-partisan. We understand few tight decisions wrong but if it happens again and again in the same test then that umpire should just go. Worst, when an umpire refuses to uses everything that is at his disposal to give correct decision then that’s criminal negligence, moreover, in rare case of referral to the third umpire results into wrong decision then that umpire should be charged under penal code! Additionally if an umpire in spite of seeing a grassed catch decides to go by the players word then that just does it. And if all this happened in the space of five days then I am short of words to explain my anger and frustration. But Hold on, that’s not the end of the saga. In fact, that’s just the beginning. Ricky Ponting can’t understand squat of Harbhajan’s bowling. Batting against Harbhajan he is like a floppy duck trying to walk on the ground. But he is certainly more intelligent than a duck. He cleverly framed Harbhajan and got rid of him. And, what BCCI did? “We take racist comments seriously” really? Good to know that. Though if both of the players were of the same color then how can any comment of be racist? That’s tiny details that we don’t want to deal with.

Unfortunate the only thing that will force BCCI to pull out of the tour is more money. If someone is ready to pay BCCI all the money they will loose if Australian tour ends up in fiasco then BCCI will happily call off the tour. They don’t care about national prestige because technically players don’t represent India, they represent BCCI. (I am serious!) They don’t care about lack of sportsmanship from Australian side or clearly biased umpiring or racist accusation against their own players because all this doesn’t results into loss of revenue. Yes we lost the series. So what? We do that all the time. But if you think that something can happen that will have direct implication on BCCI’s revenues then hell, yeh, we are calling off even Sri Lanka Vs. England tour!

In short, my message to all the fans of Indian cricket is this –: either get a real job rather than wasting time on burning effigies or writing angry blogs (ala me!) or start collecting money and donate it to BCCI to call off the tour.

* Same Shit, Different Day was the answer Martin Crowe gave when he was asked about Aussie behavior.