My encounter with Kevin Garnett

I am a die-hard basketballer and since 2008, a die-hard Celtics fan. Therefore, you must guess what cloud I was in when I suddenly bumped into Kevin Garnett. Seriously, I literally just bumped into him. I was strolling in Union Square and for some reason I thought I should drop by North Face showroom to check shoes. I turned right and I saw two really tall guys walking across me. When I looked close, one of them was KG - the big ticket himself.

Holy Kameameha! Are you kidding me? What are the chances of you literally walking onto one of your basketball superheroes? The answer is none! And here I am gawking at him like a numbnut. He must have noticed it but chose to ignore.

So I called him – “hey KG, big fan” no response I received. So I went rather formal way “ Mr. Garnett, just wanted to say yesterday’s shot with 5.1 left was incredible” No kidding I rattled the whole statistic while following him, crossing the main street and dodging the onslaught of traffic. Just kidding, there was no traffic. Construction has closed that road. But I did follow him to the doorsteps of Gucci.

I received no response! He was talking to his friend during all this as if there is no brown guy with Celtics green sweater following him. Agreed it is hard to notice someone from the height of 7 feet. Especially if there is a brown guy with Celtics green sweater following you. Okay I mentioned the last part already. Nevertheless, what happened is he ignored me into Gucci shop.

Either the feeling of being inconsequential or the intimidating prices of Gucci, I am not sure, I decided not to follow him further.

The guard of next building saw the whole episode and asked me if I wanted introduction with KG. Of course, I said. However, it did not make much sense. Why would KG respond to a building security personnel? Is it because both of them are black and tall? (The building guard was tall, though not as towering as KG) In any case, here we go into Gucci shop. The Gucci “team member” pleasantly welcomed me. I was like, dude, look at me, do you really think I can afford even ‘off the rack, 70% discounted’ handkerchief? However, there was no time for such a reality check. My target was KG. On the second floor, he was shopping for some fancy sneakers. The guard went ahead and said something to him, turned right about and just walked out on me. I was like ‘dude, where are you going?’

KG was standing right in front of me talking to some non-existent person. Now any avid baller knows that KG, with freighting intensity, talks to himself in third person during the game. However, I couldn’t figure out what part of Gucci could possible make him so intense? It wasn’t the prices for sure. I mean, his 6 years contract in 1996 with Minnesota Timberwolves was $126 million dollars.

“Just wanted to say Hello and shake hands with you” is what I said. Yet again, I received no response. As it turned out, he was talking on the phone. However, he did stare at me. That did scare the s%&t out of me. Perhaps my presence was giving me ‘game time’ shivers. His hands were really huge with really long fingers. If he wanted, he could have swatted me away. That thought made me feel like a mosquito. Uncool feeling if I may add!

“Can I please see size 14 of this shoe?” he lovingly asked the salesperson.

Rapidly multiplying uncool feelings! Should I just leave? I still hummed around for few seconds and then decided to excuse myself from the unpleasantness. Unpleasant for me of course! KG probably continued shopping for size 14 shoes, which apparently were much more important than shaking hands with one of his die-hard fan.

Thinking of which, isn’t size 14 too small for him? Probably it was for his toddler!

Anyhow, the whole incidence left sour taste in my mouth. I did not want to disturb him by taking a picture. I do not believe in autographs either. I just wanted to say Hello to him. It wasn’t the first time I was meeting a celebrity or a sportsman. I have been up-close (literally, few feet away) with entire Indian team that included Sachin, Saurav, Rahul, Zaheer and Harbhajan. I have met Shahrukh Khan when he was shooting for Zamana Deewana in Matunga. (He was very courteous and polite) I have been hugged by Ustad Zakir Hussian and I have touched Padit Jasraj’s feet after his out-of-world concert. When I introduced myself to Nana Patekar he replied “I am Nana, Nice to meet you”

I have seen Denzel Washington signing autographs on the Broadway. I have shook hands with Jon Stewart. Fortunately, all of these encounters went really well. These celebrities were polite enough to say hello and humble enough to accept my compliments.

However, here, even the basic “Hello” did not go down well. I was disappointed. Moreover, I was hurt. I felt disrespected.

One of the chief reasons I become a Celtic fan was Kevin Garnett. He was technically perfect playing power-forward or Center and most importantly, he was extremely intense player. I like intense players. That is why I loved Ganguly! A player coldly executing strategy and winning is nice but a player so immersed in the game that he talking to himself in third person is just awesome. KG was exactly that guy. He was billed as a ‘big ticket’ in Boston and rightfully so. He bought my ticket for sure.
I kept thinking about this incidence. May be if it was Ray Allen then he would have said a nice hello. However, I could not shake the feeling of being so unwanted. Should he have said Hi to me? Granted, he had a tough game prior night. Perhaps, he was worried about the trade deadline. (He said as such to the reporters earlier) May be, he was trying to relax, hanging out with his friend and shopping. It is his private time.

What he owes me is limited only to basketball court.

We watch the athletes we love so closely. We try to follow their every move. We line up even if there is a rumor of him or her being in the vicinity. Why we do that? Because we aspire to them. Actually, we aspired to be them. Sadly, lack of talent caught up and here we are doing mundane things like millions of others, while they are soaring high, achieving improbable and making zillions. I am not saying our life is miserable. The difference is that they get to work hard and excel in what they love while we try to get by in what we may or may not like.

However, just because we are die-hard fans does not give us any ownership over them. As I said earlier, the contract between them and us is limited only to the ballgame. They want to win for us (at least in theory!) and we want to win through them. If KG did not show even the basic courtesy then he is just a rude guy that you come across time to time.

Nothing more!

Though he better makes some important baskets in the playoff!

Oh and the dude is tall.....like....really tall!! 

P.S. - Post-Environmental World

P.S. – Funny that I come across bit of data on environmental destruction after publishing my last blog. (And I found this data on cracked.com is quite amusing!) The data is primarily centered around impact of American consumerism on environment. The data is frightening in itself. And since rest of the world wants to live in American luxury the impact on environment will be catastrophic.

Shall we?

Various plugged-in devices (in US alone) when not in use accounts up to 10 percent of total power usage. That translates into 100 billion pounds of carbon dioxide emission every year. And that converts into staggering $3 Billion.

US alone boast 50,000 square miles of lawn turfs. To maintain such a gigantic level of sheer idiocy 200 gallons of water per person is spent. US population is more than 300 million. So you multiply 300 million with 200 and I will see you next year! Don’t laugh…..I want you to do the math and count the zeroes for me. And when you are doing that math visualize the barren deserts of once green Africa!

One of the most brazen, visible and yet seemingly mundane act of humongous environmental destruction is use of toilet paper to wipe your ‘you know what’. 36 billion paper rolls are used in US every year! That’s right 3 6 b I l l I o n ! That translates into 27 percent of world’s total TP wood harvest….every year! Of that gigantic number only 2 percent is recycled paper. What if transition is made to more recycled paper? Sounds so earthly right? Because it will save 425,000 trees per year. No wait….I got that wrong. If each household in US replace a single roll of triple-layered Charmin with recycled one then 425,000 trees per year can be saved. But guess who won? Damn you triple-layered Charmin! Damn you!

Around 147 million gallons of fuel is wasted per year because driver didn’t completely shut the gas cap. Remember, if left open, petrol evaporates? What about driving in underinflated tires? Around 1.2 billion gallons of gas gone! Did you know drivers of 18 wheelers leave their truck engine running overnight so that it’s ready to go in the morning? I didn’t and that’s after living in this country for 10 years. However I wasn’t driving the 18 wheeler around the block and keeping it running when I go to bed! Anyhow, coming back to the point – such a spoiled brat behavior costs 838 million gallons of petrol per year. Yep, just like that we won’t ever see a drop of 838,000,000 gallons of petrol ever again…..like…never ever again!

Now this is absolutely bizarre - did you know that hormonal birth control that women all over the world intake cause immense damage to the fishes in the river? No, seriously, the medicines pumped into woman’s body gets flushed out through toilet into rivers. The fishes in the water are suddenly bombarded with hormonal stuff from all over. This causes colonies of fish with gender issues seriously depleting their population. Serious

I presented only four absolutely mind-numbing and one absolutely weird fact to support my argument. Google environmental destruction facts and you will be truly depressed. What gets me is how simple it is to lessen our footprint on the environment. Caring for environment does not mean selling everything and moving to the caves. If we consume what we need and conserve what we can then it is sustainable. But if we are unable to, or worse, refuse to be sensible on this issue then even if humans miraculously survive this century they will be living in the caves.

With cockroaches, of course, and no Bayer!

Post-Environmental World

Just came across an interesting column from Francis Fukuyama published in the latest issue of Foreign Affairs. The column is a wide ranging commentary on current state of world. It is about impact of financial crises of 2008 on western world, nature of protests around the world, drawbacks of existing form of capitalism and democracy, few alternatives to the existing model and finally, rough outline for next social model to come. The points he discussed may sound disparate but the narrative he weaved succinctly captures the common thread. Highlight of the column was his commentary on drawbacks of existing model of democracy and capitalism. Ye he asserts that for a new model take hold democracy and some sort of capitalism has to be in the mix. He also stress on importance of middle class as they play decisive role establishing and maintaining a social system. I couldn’t agree more with these points but what got my attention him completely discounting the impact of rapidly changing environment and general deterioration of natural resources. For me environment will prove the decisive factor in shaping our world in this century.

From the dawn of human history we have been adversely impacting environment in one way or another. But still last hundred years has been unique, and not necessarily in a good way. The scale of environmental destruction, pollution and annihilation has been shocking. With advancement in technology we pollute on gigantic scale and destroy forests at super-sonic speed. Air pollution has gone up so much that the earth’s temperature has risen substantially in mere hundred years. Ice on North Pole is fast disappearing and weather cycles have changed in various parts of world. Clean air and potable water is increasingly becoming scarce and yet human population is growing at rapid rate.

You can hold me culprit for using excessive hyperbole (oxymoron here!)  in presenting my argument. But the situation isn't just bad it’s actually worse. Environmental decline will have direct and immediate effect on communities at micro level and nations at macro level. Scarce resources, polluted land and water and rapidly declining fertile land will force societies to take extreme measures. Social structure may collapse and nations will go to war over water and arable land. China is already on land buying rampage in Africa and South America. 

The tale of Somali piracy s quite illustrative. The Somalian pirates gained worldwide attention when they abducted an American ship.But the problem started well before that. Somalia as we all know is a failed state. Taking advantage of this situation fishing ships from far-away countries like Spain and Japan started fishing in Somalian water. We are not talking about few ships throwing their fishing nets in the water. These Spanish and Japanese ships were advanced shipping trawlers that captures thousands of tons of fish in the matter of days. This means scarce fishing for local Somali fisherman. The initial revolt was against these fishing theft. It later spawned into a piracy enterprise when they realized that piracy pays much better than catching fishes is a different story. Why did Japanese and Spanish trawlers fishing in Somali water? Because there’s not enough fish left in their waters!

Can similar situation happen when strong country will invade a weak one because in want to natural resources? To be honest one of the important underlying reason for most of the wars is natural resources. But situation will be exacerbated since nations will be forced to go to war. All the talk about sustaining civilization, implementing capitalistic democratic model, free trade, importance of middle class, oligarchy, monopoly, revolutions, counter-revolutions, modernism, post-modernism, revivalism, fanaticism, secularism, atheism, enlightenment, post-enlightenment, industrial revolution, post-industrial revolution, communism, socialism, dictatorship, religion influenced social models, secular social models and everything in between will be quite irrelevant because in post-environmental we will be forced to wear masks to breath and go to war over water. 

We have enough nuclear bombs to destroy earth numerous times but we are not sure if we will have enough water to sustain for next fifty years.

You do the math

Why Indian cricket suck?

I was all riled up when India meekly capitulated to Australia in the third test at Perth. But then I had epiphany. It made perfect sense. Playing for India is irrelevant. It used to be an honor, a privilege. The respect you earn for representing your country, the allure of joining a club so select that only few hundred people in last 50 years have managed to join. Not only you have to be a good player but you also need to be fortunate enough to successfully maneuver the corrupt, inept and greedy institution of BCCI. You play for India after all that, you are the man!

But now all you have to play for is IPL. As long as you are “sold” to one of the teams you are gold. Who wants to work hard, stay in shape and perform to play for India when you can make more money in less than half the work playing in IPL?

The reason for my rant is not that India lost to Australia. We are used to that. It’s the way the team lost. It’s the manner of the defeats. The way India lost was not only humiliating but rather debasing. To lose is okay, to surrender after tough fight is also okay but to pack-up and run when faced with odds is not okay. It’s not okay at any level, lest you are playing for your country. There are more than one billion souls living in India. And when representing 1/6^th of world population you can’t gather your cajones to fight then shame on you. Move aside and let the novice take the charge; at least, they will go down fighting.

You see before ensuing tour of Australia I, along with few hundred million people, sincerely believed that India will win this test series. We have the whole squad health and running. Australia on the other hand was still a maturing side. With ax hanging over Ponting’s head and Hussey (my man!) in getting phased out, I thought we can either win 2-0 or 2-1. After three tests and 3-0 scoreline, in favor of Aussie, I am proved to be a dumbass along with few hundred million people. Was India destined to lose? In hindsight, yes. Was India supposed to lose this bad? Probably not!

Look at these disparate set of stats:

· India scored 400 only once and that too thanks to R. Ashwin, a newbie.

· In three test matches Aussie collectively have scored at least four hundreds including two 150+ scores and one 300+ scores. India on the other hand has yet to notch a single individual hundred.

· In third test match David Warner, a newbie himself, single handedly scored 180 at rapid pace. India’s 1^st inning total was 161 and 2^nd inning total was 171.

To truly appreciate the manner of debacle, lack of will, and general disinterest in winning look at following stats:

· Sachin alone has played more than 180 test matches. If you take out Ponting then test match experience of rest of the Aussie team barely touch that number.

· Collective age of all Aussie fast bowlers doesn’t even come close to number of centuries scored by Sachin alone.

· Total number of centuries scored by Sachin, Laxman, Dravid, Gambhir and Sehwag totals more 125 and I am talking only about test centuries.

And finally the true cause of disinterest is the amount of money these players make irrespective of the results. Indian players are contracted players of BCCI. They get paid the contracted sum no matter how much cricket they play. Thus the quantity is the criteria rather than the quality. Class A contract usually reserved for people like Sachin, Dravid and Dhoni usually stands for Rs. 1 Crore per annum. And Class D stands (please correct me if I am wrong) for Rs. 20 lakh per year. On top of that they get paid extra for each One Day, Test and Twenty-20 they play. And to top the icing they make more money through endorsements. But kids let me tell you a secret. The money that we calculated so far (the average annual income in India is around Rs. 40,000!) is peanuts for these cricketers. That’s right the real big-daddy money comes from IPL. And I am talking really big rich sugar daddy!

It’s not just the astronomical sums that these players get paid but the fact that they get paid in American dollars is truly astounding. Let me start with an example from recent past. An obscure player like KD Karthik who can’t hold his place in India team commands $2 million salary in IPL. So it’s simply unfathomable how much money Sachin, Dhoni and Sehwag must be making! In 2009 Dhoni made $9 million i.e. more than Rs 46 crore! The reality is quite stark here. BCCI Class A contract Rs 1 crore. IPL contract more than Rs 9 crores. You do the math! If they can make millions of dollars playing for stupid ass tournament like IPL then why bother playing for India? Even if they are not contracted by BCCI they can still make that much money in a month then why will they care about winning in Australia?

I have blogged on this topic before and in my last blog the target of my ire was Gambhir. I published that blog after disastrous England tour. Since that tour India fought hard to win against weak West Indies. And I wasn’t surprised to see Gambhir has not scored a decent knock since England tour. Sehwag, apart from his 219 scored in a tiniest possible stadium has been a redundancy. Laxman’s pretty much checked-out. Sachin is waiting for someone to present him his 100^th century. Zaheer came back all right. Dhoni has rapidly faded into a non-factor. I mean how on earth a world-champion team fades into lame-ass mediocrity and listlessness within a year? Where’s the pride? Where’s the ego?

For better or for worse (mostly for worse!) cricket is a national game of India. So much energy is wasted on the game that it’s aggravating to know that in last fifty years or so India has not produced a world-beating side. Mind you cricket is not even played at world level. There are officially only eight test playing nations. Of those, New Zealand is chronically resource-strapped. Bangladesh is chronically (and comically!) incompetent. West Indies is chronically mismanaged and Pakistan, well, you know! That leaves, apart from India, only Australia, South Africa and England as formidable sides. And India has not beaten Australia and South Africa in their respective countries and won only two series in last thirty in England. Yes, we have won against these nations in India but the mere fact that we can’t even dominate a game played, with some seriousness, only in four countries is mind-boggling.

India does not play well in any other game. These cricketers make so much money and still manage to lose. I know money doesn’t buy talent. But if these players don’t have talent then at least, don’t pay them! On top all this they whine about public pressure and tight schedules. Get over yourself! Because you get so much attention you command so much money. If no one showed up at the airport when your flight arrives then no one is going to pay you ever. Ask Dhanraj Pilley – an ace hockey player and former India captain. I don’t think he made enough money in his professional career as a star hockey player as what Virat Kohli makes in a year.

The tour’s going to end soon. I will be surprised if India doesn’t lose the fourth test by huge margin. Soon the IPL juggernaut will start rolling. Players like Gambhir and Kohli will score some half-ass runs in IPL making sure their American dollars continue to flow. India does not embark on international cricket tour for next couple of years. By then Gambhir and Kohli would have made at least $5 million dollars and nobody would care!

Average annual per capita income in India is little over $800.