I recently watched The Roadrunner, a documentary on the life of Anthony Bourdain. It was a wonderfully made tribute to Bourdain covering key parts of his career while vividly portraying the personality that we all fell in love with. The off-camera persona of Anthony Bourdain comes out exactly the way he was on the screen. No garnishing was required. The documentary also captures the sudden and unfortunate demise of the hero delicately and with ample empathy. It was not his sudden demise that shocked people. It was the way he decided to exit the stage. There was no cursory 'Bye' to anyone. A man with millions of words at his disposal could not muster even a few words worth a note before heading out. No one would have predicted the end. Perhaps, not even the man himself. I would be lying if I told you I did not choke up.
I first read Kitchen Confidential in the summer of 2003. I randomly landed on it, most likely because I liked the lanky, good-looking fellow with knives on the cover of the book. And just like millions of others, I got hooked on the disarming monologues that filled page after page. Though a foodie myself, I never gave any thought to the food I was eating or the chefs that were making it. I have never thought about people running the restaurants. It was amusing to know how restaurants function. It was hilarious to read about why not go for a buffet on Mondays and why not order fish on Monday nights. Bourdain did shed bright lights on the underbelly of the restaurant business but he also lovingly painted the people who peel potatoes, who make the sauce, who ferry the plates, and the people who own the show. But the book, wryly honest in tone was not just about food or about the restaurant business. It was a memoir, a musing about the philosophy of life, the philosophy of wasted opportunities, being grateful for the opportunities received, and the world in general. And just like millions of others, I was hooked on the persona that was Anthony Bourdain. I couldn't get enough of this dude. The way he was flying around with his thoughts gave me a different perspective about everything around me. Anthony Bourdain was legit cool! Jaded yet clear, rueful yet honest, elite, snob yet completely street.
I wanted to be like him and yet I knew, I could never be like him!
When his No Reservations show started airing, it felt like a natural transition for Bourdain's personality. He took his intense gaze and ability to philosophize even the mundane happenings to a wider canvas. The narration, the thought cycle appealed to me because it felt like a monologue of a wanderer. Bourdain was as American as one can get (and as New Yorker as one can get) who didn't travel extensively before the show, yet his point of view to look at the world - curiosity, respect, disdain, and nonchalance, all mixed in exactly right quantity, showed the world from an immigrant's point of view. Perhaps because he worked on food that is inherently always been a global phenomenon. Or maybe he worked with a staff full of immigrants. I don't know but that way of analyzing the world felt very strongly personal when he started traveling around the world. I was an immigrant myself at that time. Was trying to fit in a foreign land, attempting new types of food and enjoying it, and yet, was trying to hold on to the past and the country. All immigrants go through that, I wasn't any special but the experience that all immigrants have is certainly special. And somehow Bourdain managed to showcase this brilliantly. Food is not just what we eat, how we eat, and how we cook. It's a cultural reference point, a representation of centuries of living by a certain set of people under certain geographical and weather conditions. Dig deeper and one will see how society grew and most importantly why. Passing down the recipes over generations and centuries is a thread that strongly binds societies and cultures. The food is not just to fill the belly but it represents the people in and out. The way they look, act, behave, and react all boils down to the food, and Bourdain, either by design or by accident, succinctly managed to use food as a lens to look at the world in his travels. There was a curiosity but there was never one-sided judgment. There was healthy respect but never over-the-top reverence. There was a monologue but it effortlessly weaved the cultural narration of the region he was travelling. There have been numerous travelogues before and since Bourdain's No Reservation. It's not like there are no other good travelers. My personal favorite has been Ian Wright of Lonely Planet/Globe Trekker fame. Ian was just so much fun to watch but he could never impose his personality on the episode or the location. This is where Bourdain distinguished himself. The show wasn't just about traveling, sightseeing, or about food. It was Bourdain traveling, sightseeing seeing, and eating the food.
Some of Bourdain's traveling episodes were poignant. His travels through Vietnam and Cambodia were travelogue masterpieces. I still remember the scene of him dining in the hut of a guy who lost his legs to a landmine. The pain, shame, and regret were quite evident on Bourdain's face. The nation, the family, and the hut graciously hosting him had borne the brunt of the US invasion of Vietnam. And though the invasion had ceased more than four decades ago, the violence through landmines continued to be a steady feature of life. Bourdain and his crew handled the situation outstandingly. It left an indelible mark on viewers. Such episodes were quite frequent on his 'No Reservations' show. A militant meat eater, he was amazed at the vegetarian choices offered in India. His food side chat with the owners of a famous vegetarian restaurant in Rajasthan was quite fun to watch. The beauty was how Bourdain became part of the entire scene. The hustle and bustle of that restaurant - it was not a fine dining place, Bourdain having heart-to-heart with the young men, his genuine amazement after knowing that all of these men are engineering graduates made the episode a great watch. It is not just about food anymore. It was about people and it was about how Bourdain effortlessly brought that side to the viewers is where his genius sparkled.
I lost 'touch' with him almost a decade ago. I didn't feel like watching his CNN show. Partially because I felt a bit betrayed. On CNN? Common man, you are better than that! You are the rebel I looked up to, not a schmuck on CNN! I still watched him whenever his old shows were on or whatever he wrote but I did not pursue him actively. If you watch The Roadrunner closely, as his fan, as his 'friend', you can see something's not right. He was running away from something when nothing was pursuing him. Our 'roadrunner' became the road himself. In search of something, he seems to have lost himself. That 'something' was never apparent though. Was it adrenaline? Was it the next curiosity? Next weird food? New culture? New people? New destination? something more fulfilling? Or maybe, some happiness? A new person to love? We don't know and what's worse, we will never know. The dude spoke millions of words, visited thousands of places, and became the coolness quotient for millions of everyday schmucks like me and yet, no one saw his sudden demise coming! He hid in plain sight. Maybe he hid from himself and all the traveling, he could not find his true self.
It's a good idea not to get too close to the people we look up to. Not to go deeper into their personal lives. Anthony Bourdain was no saint by any stretch of imagination. They are commoners just like us in most facets of life. However, certain aspects of their personality shine brightly and enrich our lives. It's been almost a half decade since Bourdain left the scene but his cigarette-heavy voice still sounds fresh and his travelogues still make us look at the world with curiosity and empathy. I would like to just stick to that and celebrate his life.
