my EnGLiSh

damm it, i am really frustrated with my english. I thought more i write, more i will get better in it. But somehow i am not getting any better. ( i have even completed my Expos.no shit!) I have uploaded three columns on my blog so far and every time i read those columns i see new mistakes. Its like "ohh i could have written this sentence in different and much better way and used much precise words". So either i am really dumb or theres something wrong in english. I think later part is correct.
I used to writer quite nicely in my mothertongue.(Marathi) In fact i used to be ace in that. I was the only student who got double mark (mark of distinction) in my Marathi class. I guess, i still think in my mothertongue and then try to write in English. But whenever i tried to think in English, my nationalism erupts like volcano. If i start thinking in english then after some time i will loose my sense of my mothertongue. I see lot of Indian who can't think in their language anymore and therefore can't talk properly.(I see lot of such people even in India!) I am really scared of this thing happening to me. And I just can't afford to loose my country nor my language. Its my identity. (hey, i am not a chauvinist!)
So i guess as long people understand what i write and what i say, i am happy. I don't want write to get some literature prize. I write just to express my thought. If i am successful in streaming those thoughts to readers, that's all i want. I will one happey and content soul on motherearth.
( oh Yeh, i am certainly working on writing stuffs in rhythm. My lost blog is as disorianted as it gets. Like Mr. Gandhi was during partition days...heheh)